Since his “death” and suspiciously private funeral in December of 1966, it has been long-believed that Walt Disney never really did die. Due to his strong interests in science, technology and the future, or “the world of tomorrow” as he called it, many have theorized throughout the years that the pioneer actually opted to have himself cryogenically frozen.
Towards the end of his life, Disney was dying from lung cancer. The running hypothesis is that he asked to have himself frozen until a cure for his cancer was developed. However, because no multicellular organisms can survive a complete freezing, Disney would also have to wait for the right technology to unfreeze him – and essentially re-animate him – to be developed too.
While it hardly seemed like that technology would ever be created in our lifetime, a new company claims it has.
READ: The Daily Wire Producing ‘Song of the South’ Remake
Cryogenic Regeneration and Pharmaceuticals (C.R.A.P.) has released a report that details a method in which it has successfully reanimated cryogenically frozen matter. While the exact process is not revealed in the report, results from previous trials are. They seem to show a 96% success rate. On top of that, the process fully cures its subjects of any previous ailments (cancer, herpes, etc.) That’s not all.
In a separate release also issued by the company today, it confirms that it has showed proof of its results to the Walt Disney estate, and has been granted express permission to bring the legend back to life.
This confirms that Disney was frozen after all.
While the estate has yet to issue an official statement on the matter, all of our sources tell us that the decision to finally reveal the truth, and proceed with the miraculous new process, was made in the hopes that Disney could be back on his feet to replace Bob Iger ASAP.
We reached out to The Walt Disney Company for comment, but all they could tell us was to “Google the words ‘Disney’ and ‘frozen’.” The results were shocking.
READ: The Walt Disney Company Announces Intent To Buy Tom Cruise
Now, if you’ve made it this far, this is obviously an April Fools’ joke.
To this day, there is almost no evidence that Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen.
In 1972, Bob Nelson, the president of the California Cryogenics Society, participated in an interview where he confirmed that Disney wasn’t frozen but that he had wanted to be. “The truth is, Walt missed out. He never specified it in writing, and when he died the family didn’t go for it,” he said. “They had him cremated. I personally have seen his ashes. They’re in Forest Lawn. Two weeks later we froze the first man.”
So for all those theorists who still think that “Disney on Ice” means something else, this one’s for you:
